


The Promise

by AwatereJones



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Dark, Gen, Homophobia, M/M, No Smut, Regret, Young Love, moody, tissues needed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-08 11:16:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12863340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwatereJones/pseuds/AwatereJones
Summary: Had a shitty few days and a nap gave me this...not for everyone. Dark, moody and matches my mood. ... Jack and Ianto were seperated by their families with Jack sent to 'Straight camp' while Ianto was ostracised and a few years later Jack returns home one more time. Ianto promised he would be there and he is waitng for him now... No flamers or trolls plez dont like dont read





	1. Home?

So my cousin has tried to kill herself for the second time in as many months..also Aubrey's meds have stopped working and we had to section him again. So I have both of them up in the Mental Health Unit pretending not too know each other as I run about like a chook with it's head cut off trying to maintain both jobs as well as cater to their needs. I am stuffed. Tried to have a snooze and this was the resulting nasty....it's dark. Really dark and nasty. A bit of homophobia, a lot of angst. might not be for everyone and it is exactly 10 chapters because in-between moments of madness today I sat and wrote it in a single day. Most of it in my head while driving back and forth....back and forth....back and forth.....wonder if they have a spare bed up there.

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1

Jack hadn't been here in a while and as he walked the path down to their meeting place he wondered why it wasn't more overgrown, it seemed more like itself the closer he came to the spot.

Then he saw him and it didn't matter anymore, Ianto standing there looking out over the river with his hands in his pockets looking as delectable as ever and Jack resisted the urge to call out for fear that it may startle him and he would turn, loose his footing and fall. Of course then came the realisation that Ianto knew he was there and he felt stupid for the flash of concern.

"Heard you were back" Ianto said without turning and Jack grunted as he chose a spot in the mossy roots of their tree.

"Last summer I went backpacking around Peru" Jack said after he realised Ianto wasn't going to speak again, "Felt it was the best thing to do, came back and heard about Lisa. Sorry."

Ianto shrugged as he watched a bird fly from a treetop and then he swung to face Jack, his head canted in a way that was always infuriatingly sweet, "At least I was with her at the end. So why this time? Why now? It's been two years since you've come here, why now?"

"What don't want to share your spot?" Jack challenged and Ianto snorted as he shook his head and looked back to the water.

"Don't be a Twypsn you know this was always our spot" he finally said so softly Jack almost didn't' catch it.

"so...how often do you come here?" Jack tried.

"Dunno, wanna come see my etchings?" Ianto said back and Jack snorted with mirth.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like a pick-up line" Jack laughed, "I just...I've not seen you around and now here you are right here in our secret spot. Of all the days I need you I find you here."

"Where else would I be?" Ianto asked with that adorable look of consternation Jack always forced across his features when he was being a dickhead.

"Well, I came home for thanksgiving because my mother told me she wanted a real family Christmas. I was going to skip it again but then...well. Not like I'm doing anything else so if it pleased her, then...well..." Jack petered out and got up, walking over to watch the water as well, "Actually I am failing. They don't know yet but my boss said I needed to take this time to decide if I want to even be here, ya know?"

"Well I am entirely the wrong one to ask" Ianto sighed, "I will debate the arse out of that with you. Of course I would win, I always won. But then I am biased, I never wanted to be here so I have a slanted view on the whole life and death debate."

Jack snorted "Trust you to bring it back to that. You morbid prick."

"When Lisa died you sent flowers, why?"

"It seemed like the right thing to do. I mean, she was your friend, I had hoped she would be able to give you everything I couldn't ya know? I had hoped you would be happy with her, even imagined petty little tepid children. When I heard about the bombing I was so ...disappointed that she hadn't made it." Jack shrugged, "I mean, she and I never really clicked but that was because she always knew I was her rival. You still loved me."

"Always" Ianto nodded, "Hard to love someone who loves someone else but she pulled it off well. My parents were so relieved that I had a nice girl even if she were black. At least coloured babies are better than no grandchildren at all."

Ianto had taken on a more Welsh accent as he spoke and had sounded so much like his mother that Jack choked with laughter, "really? Coffee coloured Grandchildren?"

"Maybe if they were pale enough she could pretend they just had a lot of sun or something" Ianto said dreamily and then they both laughed softly, the water babbling along with mirth too.

"I'm sorry" Jack whispered, "We should have run when we had the chance, before they smelt us out like that. We should have run and never looked back."

"We saved all our pocket money that time, remember? What were we? Ten? Eleven? Remember Cariad? We were going to blow this popsicle stand, steal a car and ride off into the sunset."

"I remember, the small fact neither of us could drive was a bit of a bummer but we were so sure it would be easy to wing. We saved nearly a hundred bucks that summer.....we were sick on all the junk food we brought when we agreed we couldn't leave" Jack laughed again as he reached out to touch Ianto but he evaded him, like he could, "Ianto, we should have gone."

"Too late" Ianto whispered "Your brother had his accident and it was too late."

"Yeah" Jack sighed as he watched Ianto fade into the bushes leaving him alone by the river. "Gray."


	2. the family

Jack walked home in time to meet the school bus, his bother waving energetically though the bus window as it came to a stop and Jack waved back as he waited for the doors to open, expelling the excited young man into his arms.

"Jack, I made a picture look, Jack you are wet, why are you wet? Look, a picture" Gray was excitable, like a little puppy. Had been ever since he was hit by a car while riding his bike as a small child. The brain damage was irreversible but at least he had survived and he didn't have a mean bone in his precious body. Ianto and Jack had been together when it happened and although Jack hadn't been supposed to be watching him there was always this hidden anger within the house that he wasn't there with him that day. Of course a drunk driver meant it would have been just as likely that Jack would have been hit as well but as it was never said out loud he could never defend himself.

They entered the house to the smells of a roost in the oven, Gray crowing as he rushed to give his mother the picture and she gasped as she made room on the fridge door for it, gushing that he got better each day at making these works of art.

"Where were you?" she asked as she moved the fridge magnets around.

"I went for a walk." Jack frowned at her back.

"He was with Ianto" Gray said happily, plonking into a chair and feeling about, "Is my remote still in here? Mama, did you move my...never mind."

Evelyn Harkness had tuned to face Jack and he saw the flash of apology at the mention of Ianto's name then he felt a flood of anger. How dare she act contrite after she stood here in this bloody kitchen and forbade him from seeing Ianto, had told him how much he had disappointed and shamed them with his infatuation and banned him for life. Christ, Ianto's name was never to be mentioned again, like he somehow stalked Jack, some vampire that turned Jack as well, only instead of vampires they were dreaded gays.

Jack turned away from her and focused on Gray instead, "So Gray boy! What's this I heard about the Santa Parade? You gonna be in it?"

Gray lit up and he explained that his special needs school had their own float and this year he had been drawn from the hat as one of those able to stand and wave. Of course, they all got drawn from the hat but they were all so sweet and innocent they never realised, this way they all thought they had won.

"I'm home" Gwen called as she entered and Jack heard the thump of her school bag as she came down the hallway, entering to greet them, "Man, that drizzle is really settling in."

Jack patted Gray on the head and went to leave, although he and Gwen now spoke comfortably with one another he didn't want to be pleasant so soon after being with Ianto, her being the one who blew the whistle on their secret trysts and ending their dream of being together.

It had been horrible, both families banding together to keep them apart. Each time they managed to sneak away they would be found out and when he had finally realised it was Gwen narking them out it had been too late, the damage done. Ianto's father had said he would kill him if he ever went near him again, even as Ianto screamed in the background that without Jack he would die anyway.

He had been sad to hear about Lisa, she died in a terrorist attack so horribly. He had felt terrible for all the times he had wished her dead as he discovered not all wished for should come true. The thought of Ianto alone like him was unbearable. Then he knew he was the one left alone. Hiding at university like a bloody coward instead of coming home to face all the people who would like whisper in hushed tones while he felt like shit. It had been more of a smoke screen to please Ianto's parents and get them to stop punishing him for Jack that Ianto had pretended to date her but she didn't deserve to die like that.

Jack knelt by his bed and pulled out the old shoebox with his baseball mitt inside, several old condoms and other bits and bobs from his youth, the letters from Ianto in the bottom. He opened one and started to read. Poetry. Sometimes Ianto wrote songs, sometimes he had written fairytales where the two princes live happily ever after, these offerings slid into the vent of Jack's locker to find. It had been nice, these little signs of affection.

The one he had often read after it all went to shit, the one simple piece of paper was the most read of the lot and Jack held it now, looking down at the short message writing in Ianto's clipped tones. Yeah, he even wrote with attitude.

_**I will wait for you.** _


	3. he already knew

Jack sat there and waited for the doctor to come back with his latest results, examining the posters on the wall as he wondered why all doctor's offices looked so stupid. Just once he wished one would have a calendar with naked ladies or something, just once he would find one with a dildo on a shelf or something, wouldn't that be fun?

"Sorry about that Jackson" Doctor Smith said as he plonked into his swivel chair. Jack hated his full name, the Doctor knew this and Jack had long since given up asking him to stop calling him that, instead smiling polity as Doctor Smith opened a file and started staring at it.

Why do they do that? Pretend not to know what was in there, I mean do they go through life only reading shit when the patient is in the room? Like hell. This was some display of power or something they do just to make the patient remember how lucky they are that the doctor had time at all, right?

"So, the lethargy and the pain in your lower back and abdomen" the doctor began, again annoying because Jack knew the symptoms. Wasn't this why he was here? "Your doctor forwarded your file to me, I am so sorry to read of your diagnosis."

"Yes" he finally agreed.

"I want to run a few more tests" the Doctor said slowly and Jack rolled his eyes.

"More? Are you kidding? Look I just need something to help me sleep, how many more tests do you need?" Jack demanded and the doctor pretended to read the file some more.

"A scan" he said after a while "A full body scan to see what we are dealing with."

"Dealing with" Jack repeated, now his anger was giving way to confusion, "what does that mean?"

"The median length of life from diagnosis to death for patients with desmoplastic small-round-cell tumour is reported in medical literature as 14 months." The doctor said blandly, "Of course treatments and palliative care can help with that, you need to be aware that there are options in how to live the remainder of your time with us."

"What?"

" **Desmoplastic small-round-cell tumor** is an aggressive and rare cancer that primarily occurs as masses in the abdomen. Other areas affected may include the lymph nodes, the lining of the abdomen, diaphragm, spleen, liver, chest wall, skull, spinal cord, large intestine, small intestine, bladder, brain, lungs, testicles, and the pelvis. Reported sites of metastatic spread include the liver, lungs, lymph nodes, brain, skull, and bones. The scan will show us how aggressive it is.

The tumor is classified as a soft tissue sarcoma. It is considered a childhood cancer that predominantly strikes boys and young adults. There are few early warning signs that a patient has a DSRCT. Patients are often young and healthy as the tumors grow and spread uninhibited within the abdominal cavity. These are rare tumors and symptoms are often misdiagnosed by physicians. The abdominal masses can grow to enormous size before being noticed by the patient. The tumors can be felt as hard, round masses by palpating the abdomen.

First symptoms of the disease often include abdominal distention, abdominal mass, abdominal or back pain, gastrointestinal obstruction, lack of appetite, ascites, anemia, and/or cachexia.

Other reported symptoms include unknown lumps, thyroid conditions, hormonal conditions, blood clotting, kidney or urological problems, testicle, breast, uterine, vaginal, or ovarian masses. This is why you have lost your appetite lost weight and are so tired. The back pain is a sign that one of the masses is probably pressing against you spine."

"I'm gonna die, why prolong it?"

"Well we can try a few things but... the Doctor grimaced, "Jackson I am going to be honest with you, there is little hope, not with what I am seeing here. It looks like you have been undiagnosed for some time probably over a year or so and even with treatment we are only staving off the inevitable."

"And if I have come home last year instead of backpacking you might have found it sooner?" Jack demanded "You might have saved me?"

"Well" the doctor grimaced again and Jack found that he really hated that face, "Prognosis for this type of cancer is grim anyway, most succumb no matter what. But you may have had more time..."

The doctor wrote the script for pain meds as Jack was already moving towards the door, his anger sour in the back of his throat and when he reached the door he spun to face the doctor, "Tell no one. I know my rights, I know you can't tell anyone. Not my parents... no one."

"Take a few days and then come back, I will have some literature and stuff for you then" the Doctor sighed as he watched Jack fumble with his coat, "Take some time."

"Yeah, why not" Jack spat, "All I have now!"

Jack ran from the doctor's surgery across the grass of the village green and continued done the road, the walk there now a run home.

He hoped Ianto would be there at their spot.

He would know what was happening and help him decide what to do.


	4. So? What good is tilting at windmills?

"So...how long?"

"He said maybe fourteen months but that was guess" Jack said as he lay in the moss staring up through the canopy of leaves, "He wants more tests so he can know more."

"But can that help you?"

"No."

"Then tell him to fuck off" Ianto said after considering, "Why go though more uncomfortable shit and needles which you hate more than yellow footwear? Cariad tell him to go fuck himself, you don't need to please him, that's not your job."

"What am I gonna do?" Jack whispered.

"Sounds to me like you are going to die. But you knew that already" Ianto replied calmly, "seems like that was pretty much settled without your consent, like most things in your life."

"Yah" Jack snorted softly, closing his eyes against tears, "So many things decided behind my back. What school, what friends, what sacrifices. Shit, they made me walk away from you. Well, they dragged me away. I hated it, that summer camp sucked and not a single letter from you, I sent one every day ya know. Then I heard about Lisa and realised you had gone, even if I was still trying to cling to you. Such a bloody child."

"I never got them" Ianto flicked a stone at the water, "not a single one. I wrote to ypu but never got a reply. I guess my parents took them from the letter box. Da beat me so bad the day you left bruising took a couple of months to fade enough to not bring shame on the family."

"What?" Jack sat up with horror, "What beating?"

"When your patents told mine me Da dragged me to the basement to beat the gay out of me. Told me he would cut my dick off rather than have me use it like that so I told him I preferred receiving rather than giving anyway. Gods, I stood up to him, each time he beat me to the ground I stood again. For you. For us. Then they told me you had left an my heart broke. I knew then you were going to honour your parents over our promise to one another. I think that was when the first part of me died. There in the basement on the smelly mattress he used to hurt me on, now hurting me all over again in a new way as he told me about your camp and how happy you were. Even showed me a photo you had sent you parents with you and another young man laughing with your arms around each other. 'Look' they said 'He's made friends' they said. 'He can have male friends without being silly about it' they said. I looked. I saw the way he was looking at you and I howled. You were fucking him, you have been sent to 'straight camp' and hooked up while I was left in the dark. Shitting in a bucket"

Jack stared at Ianto's' back for a long time, his mind in turmoil at all the images, thoughts and revelations then he frowned "John? John Hart? We were not fuck buddies, we might had wanked tighter but never....no. You are the only one I ever had sex with, I have never....well ta vey much!"

Jack was angry now, coming here for comfort and instead getting that thrown at him like...like...serves you right. Well, fuck that, "Fuck you Ianto Jones!"

"You did" Ianto replied softly, "Good and proper didn't you. How could I live with that shame. Aye? My father crowing that I was so stupid, such a bad fuck and he should know. I spent my time in the Gay Bar over in the next town trying to forget you."

Ianto started to laugh, low and bitter as he threw another rock, "What does it matter now? Why are we even bringing all this shit to the surface? Better we leave the mud at the bottom where it beings. Look how pretty the water is on top. Let's be pretty, yeah? Let's just stand here and be fucking fabulous."

Jack came to stand next to him and they watched the water flow past, serene and ptetty like.

"I failed you" Jack whispered.

"We failed us" Ianto corrected, "We were not strong enough, brave enough or clever enough. It doesn't matter now does it. It's done."

"You promised you would never levee me" Jack sighed

"You promised you would always come back for me." Ianto nodded. "I'm here aren't I? Despite how hard it was to get here, here I am waiting for you."

"Well, lah be fuckin dah" Jack threw his arms wide, "Here we are. Wonderful isn't it the completing of a circle. Wow, look at us, living the dream."

"Yeah, isn't it grand?" Ianto sniggered as he canted his head, then a look of alarm and he started back away into the foliage, "Someone's coming."

Jack swing to face the path and he saw Gwen walking along it, his anger flaring again as he started to walk toward her, "What are you doing? Spying on me still? Well I wasn't with Ianto was I. Do you see him? The only one I ever wanted and you ruined it all? Gonna run back and tell them a new story? Aye?"

She blinked as she looked at his tearstained face and then turned to flee.

Jack watched her run back up the path and cursed softly as he knew Ianto would not be back today.

"Alone again" he sang to himself as he started to follow her home, "Naturally."


	5. wallowing and slamming imaginary doors

"What did you do!" Franklin was waiting for his son, "Your sister came in here like a bat out of hell in tears, what did you do!"

Jack stared at him and then snorted, "I had a gay moment, sorry Dad."

The entire world seemed to come to a halt and Jack felt satisfaction in his mother's intake of breath.

"What's gay?" Gray asked from the floor where he was colouring like he was still a little boy, not a large teenage boy.

"Me" Jack answered, "I'm gay."

Gray looked up at him and nodded, "Oh. OK. I did the peas for tea."

"You did?" Jack smiled, "Cool. You do the best peas buddy."

"Yeah" Gray went back to his picture.

"Jackson, we will not have that kind of talk in this house as long as you are living under my roof you will have more respect for your parents and not speak to us that way do I make myself clear?" Franklin snarled.

"Sure dad, as long as I am alive under your roof" Jack sighed, "whatever."

"I don't know what is wrong with that boy" Evelyn sighed and Franklin grunted.

"Saw Ifan today, across the forecourt at the gas station" he said softly, "He looked like he was still drunk."

"That poor family" she replied as he went back to stirring the gravy, "I don't know how they cope."

"Same as us I guess" her husband said sadly, "We all have our crosses ot bear, a gay son isn't something you can simply shake off."

"No" she said sadly as she stared at the slowly revolving muck, "apparently not."

"I finished" Gray called and she smiled, as she watched him start to pack his things away.

Jack was in his room again, the letters being read again and he hard movement at the doorway, looking up to find Gwen standing there.

"You know, if there was an actual door there I would slam it in your face right now" he said calmly.

"I still can't believe Dad took it off" she said as her fingers traced the hinge marks, "He was like a thing possessed grunting and cursing as he yanked it off. Mom thought he was going to have a heart attack."

"Yeah well, apparently when you keep secrets you are not trusted to be alone anymore" Jack slid the box back under the bed as he spoke, "Like not having a door to my bedroom somehow keeps the one for my closet locked."

"I am sorry" she said softy, "I didn't understand. When I told, I didn't understand what I had seen. I thought you were wrestling with him, I really thought you were fighting. I didn't' know...I mean...no one ever told me two boys could...well. I didn't know."

"You told them about a lot of things you had seen, more than once. Even some stuff that never happened. Like you couldn't have come to me? I was the enemy all of a sudden? You have to spy on me, report back to them and help them compile what they needed to send me away?" Jack demanded, "To take me from him? He needed me, I need him. What do I do now?"

"I am sorry" she sobbed turning to flee again and she brushed past their father as he stormed to the doorway to glare in at his son sitting on the floor.

"When are you going to stop punishing her for doing the right thing?" he demanded.

"When does my door go back on?" Jack shot back with a sick triumph, knowing his father was never going to give him peace again. Ya. Well. Won't they be sorry. Won't they look back and mourn all the wasted time spent punishing him instead of trying to help him? Jack knew it was childish and cruel to think that way but as he looked at the box of memories he also felt a spike of satisfaction that they would find that, find all those declarations of love and see that they had saved nothing. They had stopped nothing. Right up until the end they had loved one another and they had forsaken all others.

Lisa had been a lie.

Jack's girlfriend he had written home about was a lie too, Lucinda as big a lesbian as he was a bloody Nancy boy homo queer boy. Jack leaned against the bed to think up a few more derogatory terms to write in his diary but then he got bored of that.

Not much time left and he was wasting it on regret.

Ianto was right.

What would it matter in the end?

They would probably be relieved to bury him and move on, burn all this and pretend they never had an older son. Remove his photos and lament.

Hypocrites.

Jack wanted to talk to Ianto, it had been long enough but he wouldn't be back until tomorrow. Jack went to pretend to eat some tea, his stomach complaining as the smell assaulted him.

At least that would soon no longer be an issue.


	6. Gray skies still have stars

WOW some of you are so invested in this ... I know this is a downer one so I have decided to be kind and give you the second half of it all in the one day...after all we re entering the Christmas season an it is no time for tears so enogh of this...I shall end this today instead of next week as planned then we can get onto the happier shit right? Gods knows I need a lift me own wee self xxxx

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6

"You have to tell them" Ianto argued as he lifted his fingertips to his lips like he wanted to snatch the words back, delectable and kissable as always.

"Why?"

Jack was in a belligerent mood, still pissed about the argument the night before and he knew Ianto wouldn't let him away with his sulking but he tried it on anyway.

"Stop it, if I wanted to talk to an arsehole I would have sat on a mirror" Ianto quipped and Jack found himself snorting with mirth as Ianto always disarmed him like that.

"They will pretend to care, do the whole 'why us' thing. Cry to everyone for sympathy while I suffer all the same. Why let them have some of the sympathy?" Jack demanded "No, I want them to be the pricks they are so when they stand at my grave they can really see how much they wasted."

"Deep"

"Well I was trying for sarcastic."

"No here." Ianto leaned over the edge of the river bank, "The floods have deepened this hole. Wow, its so deep you can see some of the roots, they were covered in that landslide that washed down remember?"

"Yeah" Jack yawned, "We didn't get frogs back for ages."

"Yeah, I like frogs" Ianto said as he flopped into the moss and looked at Jack, "Don't mind Jackasses ether"

"Oh?" Jack grinned.

"Yah, apparently they can be quite amusing" he nodded sagely, rolling onto his back and Jack sighed softly.

"I'm gonna die" he said after a while.

"Well don't take it too personally, we all do it" Ianto replied, "Not like that makes you special."

Jack blinked and then started to laugh at Ianto's roasting, turning to face him and he saw something he hadn't noticed before. "Are you OK?"

"Tired. I am waiting here for you but I am tired" Ianto admitted, "sometimes I think I will go to sleep and miss you."

"Never" Jack said softly to reassure him, "I will always find you, you will always find me. We promised remember? Together forever? Don't be afraid, no matter what I know you love me."

Ianto seemed satisfied with that as he sighed and let his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks, so pretty in repose. Jack had drawn him like that so many times, sketched each line, each curve. That sweet button nose. "I still love you."

"Good" Ianto whispered without opening his eyes, "Because this would get real boring for me otherwise."

Jack wandered home in time for the bus and Gray tumbled out with a smile, "Where you been?"

"Walking"

"You been with Ianto?" Gray asked with a soft frown and Jack leaned in to kiss his forehead.

"Yes but don't tell. Grups don't understand that sort of thing buddy" Jack answered and Gray nodded.

"I'm never gonna be one, they seem so annoyed all the time" Gray said as he slid his hand into Jack's and they headed in, "I like being me."

"Well I like you too" Jack assured him, "You are the best you I have ever seen."

"Yeah?"

"There you both are, come on and set the table your sister is late" their mother scolded like it was somehow their fault and Gray snorted as he rushed to do so.

"She's sniffing around that boy of Evans" he told Jack happily, "They hold hands, I see them. Not like you and Ianto, they don't love each other. Not yet."

Jack didn't look at his mother but knew she had hesitated at the mention of Ianto so he answered like it was nothing, "Well sometimes love grows like a flower, it's not all consuming like a fire. Ianto and I are flames dancing together like in the grating of the fireplace, maybe Gwen and Tony are slowly growing around each other like Mama's Roses grow around the trellis each year."

"Huh" Gray pondered, "Will I ever be loved like that?"

"Gray, I love you more than every star in the sky, more than anyone alive" Jack assured him, "You sure are already more loved than anyone else in the whole world, OK?"

Gray watched him for a while then asked "But when you go away, who will love me like that?"

Jack couldn't answer, the sudden punch to the gut too much and he looked away as his mother slammed pot down and she exclaimed, "Oh for heaven's sake, look what you've put in his head now!"

"I put nothing in there" Jack snarled "Gray has his own mind and his own thoughts. Can't you see that?"

"And we agreed not to say his name in this house!" she roared back as Gray watched with confusion.

"But you and Daddy talk about him all the time."

Jack looked triumphantly at his little brother, then stormed from the room once more wishing for that bedroom door to slam. He settled for the bathroom one and vomited with rage.

Of course they talk about him behind his back. After all, they are to blame for this agony of separation.

They have no idea what real love is do they.


	7. Gray sees Ianto

Gray knew the way because he had walked it with Jack when younger and smarter. He soon found the big tree and he sat looking up at the huge branch that went over the water and imagined the rope that had hung there.

"Does your mama know you are here?"

"Nah, her and Jack are fighting, they do it a lot now" Gray said without turning around as he looked at the ducks floating past, "Ducks."

"There are baby ones if you wait a while, they are shy" Ianto said as he sat near him and smiled softly, "I like that t-shirt. One of Jack's old ones. Think I got him that when we were your age."

"Really?" Gray looked down at himself with interest, "I wondered why he went funny when I stole it. I should give it back"

"No, I like that you have it" Ianto smiled softly, "I remember playing with you when I wore it sometimes. Remember he and I swapped clothes about? It was quite expensive I think."

"Ianto?" Gray asked after a while "Why are you here? I mean...you left and I was told you were never coming back. Why are you here now?"

"Jack needs me and I promised that I would always be here for him, no matter what happened we would always be together" Ianto whispered, his breath like a warm breeze on Gray's cheek, "He needs me now and I am here for him."

"Oh...OK" Gray shrugged, "He's not happy, is something wrong?"

"That's for him to say. You know how he is, he has to chew on it before he can talk" Ianto soothed, "He will say when he is ready."

"Yeah, I better go" Gray said after a while, "It's getting foggy."

"Misty" Ianto corrected as he rose to walk with him, "When it comes off the water like this and the rain is falling so lightly it is a mist. Nothing can hurt you in this."

"I know" Gray agreed and when they got to the edge of the woods Ianto paused, looking in the direction if the Harkness house. "Thanks Ianto. See ya."

"Goodbye Gray, don't get too wet or your mom will have a cow" Ianto said in a Bart Simpson voice and Gray laughed as he ran for the back door, turning to wave but Ianto was already gone. Like the mist he was simply smoke on the water. Gray pondered this, the fact his parents had banned the only person his brother loved from their house. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair. He loved Ianto too.

He entered the kitchen and his mother gasped, jumping from her chair, "Oh my god. Where the hell were you, your father and I were about to call the police! He's searching the street for you."

"Don't be silly, I'm not allowed to leave our place so I was just in the trees playing by Ianto's spot" Gray laughed not caring about her fluffing, she always flapped and fussed. "Is Jack here?"

"He's in his room sulking again" Gwen snarked as she settled on the sofa, "Told you this one would be OK. God, these boys are nothing but trouble."

"Says the one who likes to make it" Gray muttered as he frowned at her, "I'm not as stupid as you think I am. I do know you are making Jack angry so he will leave again. Stop it I like having him back even if he can't stay."

"Maybe he will stay" his mother said softly.

"No" Gray shrugged, "He has to leave soon. He doesn't belong to us anyway."

Evelyn looked at her son with surprise at such a strange statement then she glanced over at Gwen who was staring at Gray as well, then she turned to her mother with wide eyes, "He's not at that box under his bed again is he? I mean do we even know what is in it? Every time I walk past he is looking in it, scratching around I mean...what if he is on drugs or something?"

"What box?" their mother ask with horror as she rose and looked in the direction of the bedroom just as Jack exited it and headed to the bathroom.

"See? Probably why he is so thin, can't eat and is throwing up all the time." Gwen said with satisfaction as she watched their mother pale.

Gray looked up at Gwen with confusion as he tried to understand what she was doing, knowing as well as she did that it was Ianto's box that Jack kept close with him at all times. Their mother hesitated for a moment or two then shot into the bedroom to fall to her knees and pull the box out, opening Jack's private box of love and loss.

She looked at the photo of Ianto and Jack smiling up at her, their arms around each other and their heads together like a loving couple.

She would have preferred drugs.


	8. Pandora's Box....or Gwen's spite

Jack found her sitting on the floor with the contents of the box scattered about. She had one of the love letters on her hand and Jack felt a red rage descend as he surged forward, snatching it off her and it tore, Jack crying out as he snatched at the remaining piece she still clutched, "How dare you, how dare you touch his things. Who the fuck do you think you are!"

"What the hell is going on!" Franklin roared from the hallway as he pounded towards the room, "What do you think you are doing speaking to your mother like that!"

Jack looked at her, the box in his arms as he snatched more items from the floor and she looked up at her husband with fright, "Frank, I....I thought it might be drugs. I was worried and so I peeked."

"As long as you live under my roof you will be civil and keep your bloody animalistic ways to yourself!" he snarled at his son who was shakily placing the lid on the box.

"Well that won't be a problem much longer will it" he sobbed as he reached for the signet ring Ianto had given him on thee last night together but his mother saw it as well and reached for it before he could, lifting it up to the light.

"This looks expensive, where did you get this from?" she demanded.

Jack was looking around at his room and he focused on her, "Why did you do this? Why? If you thought I was doing drugs you would have looked in the drawers, under the mattress .... You went straight to this box. Why?"

"Your mother asked you a question" Franklin said in a low growl, "Answer her."

"Ianto gave me that as a love token, I gave him a bracelet!" Jack snatched the ring and shoved it into the box, "You know what? I can fix all of this now, if you don't want me here that's fine."

Jack was pulling his pack from the closet and his father stepped into the room, "Don't be a bloody drama queen, you are not going anywhere. The rain has arrived."

Jack opened a drawer and removed the pamphlets from the doctor, throwing them over his mother where thy fluttered around her, "Here. Since you want to snoop and treat me like a bloody burden, here. See? I am not going to be a problem anymore, no more hiding your face at church."

Jack placed Ianto's box into the pack, not wanting or needing anything else and he stormed from the house as his mother picked up a brochure and started to read. His father followed him to the back door and he yelled after him "You leave and you will never come back, do you hear me? You are dead to me! Dead!"

Jack's laughter echoed in the mist as he disappeared into the trees and Gwen yelled from the sofa, "Let him go. Good riddance."

"FRANKLIN!" Evelyn screamed and he swung with alarm racing back to the bedroom as Gwen huffed softly.

"God, it's always about him!" Gwen sighed "I wish he would just die already."

"Don't say that!" Gray cried with alarm rising to run out after him "JACK!"

"Oh for the love of god" Gwen sighed, "Let them go, I hope they both die!"

Her mother moved so fast she barely had time to register it before the slap racked her head back with the force of the blow. "Franklin, go after them, I will deal with this one."

"Where the hell did they go?" he asked and Gwen looked up at him with anger.

"They have gone to the bloody hiding place, the place where you found them together" she cried, "Where I showed you."

"Where you....where...what? You said you stumbled across them" Evelyn looked at her husband, "Are you telling me Gwen led you to them having....doing....oh my god. She saw them doing that?"

"For Godsake mum, I've seen people kiss before, even do it myself" she sniggered and now Evelyn was looking her husband in the eye.

"You said they were in a tryst having sex. Half naked" she snarled "You said they were indecent. Kissing? They were just kissing?"

"Gwen said she saw them do worse" he pointed at their daughter who shrunk into the cushions with wide eyes and Evelyn sighed as she finally saw the truth.

"Oh Gwen, what did you do?"

"I'm going after him" Franklin said with renewed anger as he also realised he had acted on their daughter's spite, "I can't believe this shit."

Evelyn sat and let the pamphlets fall into Gwen's lap, "Neither can I. Oh god, my boy. My lovely boy. How will I bury him?"

Gwen picked up a pamphlet and read it with cold dread.

Be careful what you wish for.


	9. coming home to roost

Ianto stood under the leafy canopy watching Jack approach, his face wet from the rain in an effort to hide his tears but Ianto always knew him so well.

"Cariad."

"I can't do this anymore" Jack sobbed, "I've had enough. This is shit, I don't want to do this. I want to be with you, I love you."

"Oh Jack" Ianto smiled softly as he stepped into the light "I love you too ya numpty."

Jack smiled as he felt all his woes slide away, "Oh Ianto. I've missed you."

"Soon" Ianto said sadly, "Soon everything will change and you know it must but I m here, right here. It will be OK and I will never leave you."

They heard a faint cry and Jack turned to see Gray running towards them, his face flushed with delight, "Ianto, Jack!"

"Gray!" Franklin yelled as he tried to catch up to his youngest child but Gray turned to see him approaching and picked up speed in an attempt to get to his bother and friend but as he skirted around the edge of the grove the bank gave way and Gray called out with fear as he tumbled into the water, Jack screaming as he jumped in after him.

"NO!" Franklin screamed as he watched his sons disappear the fast flowing water of the flooded river and he ran along trying to keep up with them, "No, Jack! Gray, swim son, swim!"

Franklin fell to his knees and reached out but they disappeared again and Ianto watched from further back as Jack struggled to get Gray close enough for his father to reach, finally getting him within range for Franklin to grab Gray's hood, yanking him to shore with all the strength he could find, pulling him up into his arms and he sobbed as he checked to see if he was breathing.

Ianto walked along keeping an even pace beside Jack as he tumbled and slammed against boulders, trees and other debris. Finally Jack became lodged in tree roots and Ianto waited while people rushed to get him out, the fire department helping get the limp man to shore and then they rushed him to hospital where his injuries became clear.

"Mister Harkness, you son's leg is broken in three places, his pelvis is broken and we are looking at major surgery here and months of recovery. Given your son's cancer I am afraid we cannot in good faith undertake such an exercise. Your son is not only badly hurt, he had a terminal illness and the internal bleeding is intense and it would again be intensive surgery to find and plug the leak." The doctor was talking softly as he spoke to the one who seemed in charge, the woman sobbing softly beside him as she wrung her hands, "Your younger son is fine and can go home as soon as you like. As for Jackson, I think the best and kindest thing would be to let him go."

"What?"

"Jackson will be heavily medicated and not feel any pain. He will softly slip away during the night, by dawn he will have release" the doctor said sadly, "I am so sorry."

"No" Gwen whispered with horror, "But you have to do something."

"I am sorry young lady, he is not saveable"

"Daddy?" she wailed, "Do something."

"Oh do shut up" Evelyn snapped, "I am so disappointed in you, so fed up with this and now...now...we almost lost them both because of your spite. We get to see him go, we get to say goodbye. More than some get."

They got Gray and gathered around Jack's bed, all trying to be positive as they told him it was OK. Jack was well drugged up but he was looking for Gray, his relief at seeing him raw.

"I'm sorry" Gray sobbed, "I killed you. Sorry."

"Don't' be a dork" Jack rasped, "I'm not dead but I do have to go. I can't stay here buddy."

"You are going to Ianto" Gray pouted, "He said you were going to go with him."

"Oh my god" Evelyn sobbed softly, "I can't take this."

"Don't worry Mama" Jack snorted, then coughed weakly, "Not long now."

Evelyn stated to weep as she sat and took a limp hand in her own, "I'm so sorry darling, so sorry. My poor boy, I am so sorry."

Ianto stood back and watched from the doorway, unsure of what to do and Gray solved it by turning to face him.

"Ianto is waiting for you" he said to Jack, "He promised he would."

"Gray for Godsake, stop it!" Franklin growled, "You know he is gone."

"No he's not" Gray argued, "He's right there in the doorway!"

He pointed and they all turned to stare in the direction of his finger, their eyes wide with horror.

Ianto sighed softly.

"Hello Gray Boy."


	10. the end...of this journey anyway

Ianto walked to the side of the bed and looked down at Jack with a serene smile, reaching out to stroke his cheek, "Cariad?"

Jack's eyes fluttered open and he grunted with the effort of trying to speak.

"Hush now, it's OK" Ianto crooned, "It's OK. I'm here, I promised I would be. Yeah? You and me, together forever."

"Ianto" Jack sighed happily, "My love."

"Oh god" Franking sighed, "Him again."

"Shut up Frank" Evelyn snarled, "Let him say what he wants to."

"Ianto" Jack croaked again, "I'm ready Tiger, I want to go now."

Ianto nodded as he took his hand, "Come on then, let's go."

Jack blinked as he blearily tried to focus on his face, "Ianto."

"Come on, let go" Ianto prompted him, "It's OK. This is just a vessel, you don't need it anymore, it's done it's work. Gray will be OK, you saved him. What you needed to do, you did it. We can go now. Come on, let go."

Jack seemed to rise from the bed for a moment, then settle once more, a rattle as he expelled his last breath and his mother cried out with horror as she realised she was witnessing his death. As the first light of a new day dawned, her son's life waned.

"Well done Cariad" Ianto whispered as he turned to go knowing he had done his job, kept his promise.

Together forever.

.

.

.

.

The rain was gentle that afternoon, the coffin lowering gently as Gray looked down with interest asking for the umpteenth time, "But he has the letters from Ianto right? And my flashlight so he can read them right?"

Ianto stood in the shadow of the trees watching as Gwen sobbed noisily into her father's chest and her mother looked at her dispassionately, then back to the coffin that held her first born.

Gray picked a flower from the bouquet his mother held, turning to the other gravestone that sat on the grave next door to Jack's final resting place and he placed the rose carefully on the ground then he rose and patted the stone.

"That's that one who hanged himself" someone whispered to another, "Poor lad. They found him hanging from the big tree back there in the woods, remember? Hanging out over the water. So tragic, what a waste of young life."

"Yes, fitting they rest together now" came the answer, "Two young ones, their families so close. Will make it easier to think of them resting here."

"Such a waste."

Gray didn't wait to hear anymore, skipping to the trees and heading in. It was the opposite side to their house but he knew his way, had walked it from school often enough and he pushed through to the big tree, settling in the roots to look out over the water he almost drowned in, his eyes drawn again to the low bough the rope had been cut from to release the body.

"Hello Gray" Ianto said softly, "Are you OK?"

"I know Jack had to go but I don't like being left behind" Gray said as he looked up at the young man who was smiling softly down at him, "I'm alone here now."

"Nonsense, you have me" Ianto smiled, "Right here. You are not the only one I am hanging about for ya know but I am about."

"Hanging about for?" a new voice laughed softly, "That's just crass."

"Gray knows what I mean Cariad" Ianto turned to face Jack, his wings rustling softly as he reached for him and Gray gasped.

"Oh wow, Jack. You have wings too?" Gray said with wonder. "That's cool."

"Yeah" Jack grinned, "Seems a good deed gets rewards."

"But... you hanged" Gray looked at Ianto, "Mama said you went to hell."

Ianto laughed as he leaned back against Jack, "I was hanged. I didn't hang myself. Some bad people came looking for trouble and picked on some of my friends, they ran away and I stayed. They beat me and hung me out there as a warning to our kind."

"Angels?"

"Gays" Jack whispered, "They killed Ianto because he loves me."

"No. They killed me because they had no love in their own hearts Cariad" Ianto corrected, "When the time comes we will return for you OK? Promise?"

Grey nodded and started to hum happily, safe in the knowledge Jack hadn't left him all alone. Not really.

After all...

Ianto never broke a promise.

.

.

.

.

.

I know... dark. Was in that mood. So now you know Ianto was dead the whole time, Jack couldn't come home and face his grave. The place he spoke to him was at the tree where the bigots hung his body.

I know this was a grim one but that was my mood that day. There is the question ...was Ianto ever real ot was Jack simply talking to himself? But then...Gray saw him too.


End file.
